Feeling lost and alone while trying to learn how to best support her gay son, Georgia Henry turned to PFLAG Milwaukee for support. In the twenty-five years since, she has evolved from participant to chapter president, helping countless Milwaukee-area LGBTQ people and their families feel safe, celebrated, empowered and loved.
Georgia Henry remembers one of the first emotions she experienced after her son Nathan came out to her and her husband in February 1999 being fear. Not a fear of what others would think— “There was never any question about acceptance,” she emphasizes—but fear for his safety.
Just four months earlier, the murder of Matthew Shepard shocked the nation and brought national attention to hate crime legislation. Stories of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer’s horrific torture and murder of seventeen young men during his trial in 1992—many who he sought out at gay bars—still haunted southeast Wisconsin
residents.
For Georgia, the key to knowing her son was safe was information and connecting with other families.
“I wanted to find resources and people who could help me support Nathan,” she explains. “I had no idea where to go for help, so at first I did nothing.”
Nathan discovered PFLAG, the nation's largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for LGBTQ people and those who love them, when he was invited to a luncheon by his church’s pastor.
Involvement with PFLAG started as a source of support and kinship for Georgia and her family. It would evolve into a calling for her; a way of giving back for the support she received by helping to create a caring,just, and affirming world for the LGBTQ community.
Georgia grew up in Greenfield, Wisconsin, just southeast of Milwaukee. After marrying her husband Dave, the couple built a house in the western suburb of Waukesha, where they raised their family.
Prior to finding PFLAG in 1999, Georgia says parenting a gay son felt like “living in a silo.”
She recalls a routine blood pressure check she had that same year, shortly after Nathan had come out to his family. She decided to ask her doctor for healthcare information for her son. His response was less than helpful.
“I thought my medical doctor would be the best place to go for good, honest information. What happened next should not happen to anyone,” she says.
“When I told him Nathan was gay, he let his head drop and shook it. He said that he knew I was ashamed of my son . . . . Then he told me that Nathan was letting Satan take over his body and quoted the Bible a bit,” she recalls.
“I was shocked and so upset that my blood pressure was sky high. At the time I didn’t know how to handle it."
"Nathan was still seeing his pediatrician but would have eventually seen this physician. Needless to say, that was my last visit with this particular doctor and I was at least glad that Nathan never had to experience what I did.”
Georgia would later write about her experience in an article for the Gay Medical Association, sharing, “I need to let people know that they do not need a physician like this treating them. I am so grateful to have a wonderful, accepting physician treating me now.
"I am also grateful for the pediatrician that Nathan had when he was going through his coming out process. It frightens me to admit this, but if it were not for Nathan’s pediatrician, I sometimes wonder if Nathan would be around today.”
Feeling alone and with growing concern for her son, Georgia was relieved when she attended her first PFLAG meeting and found the support and understanding she had been seeking.
“They were so welcoming, patiently answering all of my questions and offering resources,” says Georgia. “It was comforting to meet other parents—people with many different backgrounds and experiences who enriched my world.”
No longer alone, Georgia quickly immersed herself in the PFLAG community, welcoming and offering support to parents as others had done for her.
She remembers one mother especially well. A young man had come to PFLAG looking for help after coming out to his parents, who were not accepting.
He was hoping for guidance to help his parents better understand him, and in the process gained an entire team of "adoptive mothers”—Georgia included.
“While he was never successful at gaining understanding from his father, his mother eventually came to a meeting,” remembers Georgia.
“It was an incredibly moving moment when she told us that she had to come so that she could meet his ‘other mothers.’”
Participant to president
According to Georgia. her involvement with PFLAG evolved gradually and naturally.
She has served as Milwaukee PFLAG president for nearly two decades. As chapter president, her day-to-day duties include organizing meetings, responding to requests for PFLAG’s presence at events or speaking engagements, and leading impactful projects that push back against intolerance.
In 2003, Georgia and other PFLAG Milwaukee and Waukesha members, with encouragement from the superintendent, partnered with former School District of Waukesha to establish a CE program to educate teachers and staff about their obligation to protect LGBT students from discrimination and harassment, providing them with the tools to do so.
The workshop was a success, with wonderful reviews from attendees. Unfortunately, under less open and accepting district leadership, the program no longer exists.
Milwaukee PFLAG proudly sponsored the Shall Not be Recognized project, which was named for the 2006 amendment that made it unconstitutional for the state of Wisconsin to recognize or perform same-sex marriages or civil unions.
The project was an exhibit of photographic and verbal portraits of thirty same-sex couples in long-term, committed relationships. The chapter also launched a billboard campaign in support of same-sex marriages that year, which distilled PFLAG’s mission into one simple statement: “We the People.”
When visiting PrideFest Milwaukee one year, Georgia encountered protestors wielding signs with hateful slogans, some of whom had young children with them. One couple in particular caught her attention since they had brought their son with them, who Georgia said appeared to be 12-14 years old—and looked very uncomfortable.
“And I thought to myself, ‘What if he’s gay? He’ll commit suicide,’” she says.
Georgia decided to take inspiration from a friend who marched in the Chicago Pride parade each year with a sign that read, “God blessed me with a gay son.” In 2007, she and fellow PFLAG members organized a counter protest, making signs that promoted acceptance and welcomed visitors to PrideFest on behalf of PFLAG.
She said the response gave her “the warmest feeling I’ve ever had,” with many festival goers crying at the sight of their signs and warm welcome. PFLAG has maintained a presence at PrideFest Milwaukee, with a booth in the health and wellness area each year.
From 2016-2022, Georgia was asked to serve as regional director of PFLAG’s Northern Plains region, which includes Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota and South Dakota.
When Georgia started the role, North Dakota didn’t have a single PFLAG chapter. By getting a chapter up and running, Georgia proudly established a lifeline of support, education and advocacy for LGBTQ people and their families.
In one of the proudest moments of her tenure with Milwaukee PFLAG, Georgia had the honor of introducing Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, LGBTQ rights advocate and founder of the Matthew Shepard Foundation.
The next chapter
Georgia is currently looking for a future president to mentor, who will carry forward and build on the great work she has done.
She hopes to provide the same level of guidance she received from mentors Elna and Brigitte, who she says took her under their wings and guided her during her early involvement with PFLAG. She hopes that PFLAG can continue to help spread acceptance in a society where LGBTQ people’s rights and dignity are constantly up for debate. She’s particularly concerned for transgender people, who have a hard time accessing the health care they need and whose safety is always at risk.
Georgia encourages parents to talk openly with their children about LGBTQ identity and experience. Raising kids in inclusive environments can have a huge impact on creating a world where everyone can feel safe and supported. “Many families don’t talk about it, so kids don’t know how their parents feel about it,” she points out.
For family members looking for help supporting an LGBTQ loved one, Georgia encourages them to attend a PFLAG meeting.
“You will find peace and comfort in the welcoming people here who have the same experiences,” she says. “And our website is available any time of day for information. We have free booklets you can download on a wide range of subjects. But most importantly, just know that you will be fine because the support you need is here.”
And maybe one of those people will follow in Georgia’s footsteps. Because as they say at every meeting, “When you no longer need PFLAG, PFLAG still needs you.”
To learn more about PFLAG, including how to find a meeting and to access resources, visit their website.
The concept for this web site was envisioned by Don Schwamb in 2003. Over the next 15 years, he was the sole researcher, programmer and primary contributor.
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The concept for this web site was envisioned by Don Schwamb in 2003, and over the next 15 years, he was the sole researcher, programmer and primary contributor, bearing all costs for hosting the web site personally.
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