Johanna Kaye: unlocking a life without limits

"We can never stand down. We cannot be complacent."

Johanna (nee Larson) Kaye (she/her) is a proud resident of Rainbow Gardens in West Allis. It seems an appropriate location for someone who now proudly inhabits her bi+ and polyamorous identity. 

Johanna shared her fairly typical personal journey of growing up in Ludington, Michigan, and later moving to northern Illinois. She and her family still maintain a strong Michigan connection, often going back for summer visits over the decades. She reflects upon spending a fairly carefree childhood enjoying nature and the natural world. Life started to get a bit more complicated as she approached puberty.

She found it to be a healthy and supportive community and a way to express her queer identity. She was finally finding people who were on her wavelength. Johanna’s first marriage was isolating and abusive. She knew it had to come to an end.

After finally disentangling herself from her first marriage, Johanna found belonging in the Milwaukee queer community, which provided her with the connections and support she had previously missed.

While Johanna is firmly grounded in her ethical polyamory, she also addressed the myths surrounding bisexuality, particularly the misconception that bisexual individuals cannot be monogamous. She is now happily partnered with her husband, David, and is thankful to have left an abusive past far behind. 

“I find that people are sometimes surprised I am happily married, at this point, and polyamorous. Many bisexuals are monogamous and content with their life choices. I hate that people still think bisexuals are cheaters. It is absolutely not true.” 

Johanna states she sometimes sees her husband, David, as having a harder time, as he is very open with his bisexuality and encounters the wrongheaded view that bi men are really gay and not being honest about their preferences. Johanna rails against the assumption that she shares information about her identity because there is some ‘action’ she wants to pursue outside of her marriage. 

Johanna expressed frustration over the bi-negativity she has encountered, especially within some lesbian circles. 

“When I have been dating or in relationships with other women, I’ve heard some derogatory, offhand comments about Bi women when I have been within earshot.”

They were the kind of negative comments they might not have made had they known about Johanna’s bisexuality. However, she also shares that she finds herself in a position of comfort in her relationships and privilege, so she can take the time to educate folks who do not fully comprehend bisexuality. Johanna also finds herself annoyed with folks who make an assumption that bisexuality is transphobic. 

“This is a tired myth and could not be further from the truth. Bi folks can be attracted to a person, and their gender identity doesn’t prevent that attraction.”

Luckily, for Johanna, the people she considers close friends understand, or share, her identity. She also comments that her work as a steering committee member and volunteer with Bi+ Pride Milwaukee has allowed her to educate people who might have misunderstandings or misconceptions about bisexuality. Johanna also feels there is a prevailing view in society that a person is best when partnered. Despite being in a warm and supportive relationship, she does not see this as being accurate. 

“Society tells us if we are not partnered, we should be. I don’t think that is true. Even in the poly community, there is pressure to always be dating. I reject that."

Johanna felt she didn’t think she had a choice in whether or not to accept the societal narrative. Hence, she married young, took a job to make money right out of college, “I just didn’t feel I was really being myself.” Johanna strongly encourages folks to find the things that bring them joy and nourish their spirits. She states her interest in taxidermy, a niche hobby, led her to her pathology studies. She encourages people to focus on living their best lives in whatever way resonates with them. She found she really blossomed once she focused on nature and natural history museums and other hobbies that lent themselves to her curiosity about the world.

When asked about the positive aspects of being bisexual, Johanna is quick to say with a chuckle, “I think it’s all delights,like, all the time. It’s just wonderful to think, everyone’s hot and that’s great."

Johanna articulated the joys of being bisexual and the liberation it brings from societal norms, while also emphasizing her commitment to education and community engagement. Johanna highlighted the joy of embracing her identity and the freedom from traditional relationship expectations. She reflects on her career journey, noting how her personal growth has allowed her to pursue her passion for science. Additionally, she expresses her commitment to educating others about the bi community and fostering connections within it. 

As a student pursuing a master's in pathologist assistant studies and a member of the Bi+ Pride Milwaukee steering committee, she actively participates in initiatives aimed at increasing visibility for bisexual individuals. Her pathology studies were a natural evolution of her interest in the natural world and taxidermy. Her volunteer work with Bi+ Pride Milwaukee is an outgrowth of her acceptance of her bisexual identity. 

Johanna expressed concerns about the future of the LGBTQ community in light of the current political climate, urging young people to embrace their uniqueness and seek connections. Education is key. 

“I’ve always enjoyed being an educator. I’ve taught age-appropriate sex ed classes in the past, and I found I liked having the opportunity to share knowledge."

Johanna sees sharing information about her lived experience can have the effect of giving people insight into bisexuality and the queer community, in general. In a life which is chock-full of learning and enriching hobbies, Johanna makes time for extensive volunteering. 

“I try to bring new people in all the time [to Bi+ Pride Milwaukee events and activities]."

Johanna remembers how isolating it was to feel disconnected from the Queer community and wants to alleviate that isolation for others. She does worry when she sees young Republicans gathering and cheering when they allegedly see Pride celebrations being cancelled due to low attendance. 

“We can never stand down. We cannot be complacent. Even with some wins, the battle is not over. The future is not guaranteed."

Johanna sees that the LGBTQ community needs to be focused on maintaining our rights and fighting for a future that includes everyone. Johanna’s advice for everyone is to embrace their weird selves and not to be embarrassed by their interests, whatever they may be, as long as they are safe, ethical, and legal. She encourages everyone to follow their own path and see where that leads. 

What is she most proud of at this point in her life? Johanna was quick to answer.

“I think I’m most proud of taking back my life. My goal is to become hotter and weirder.”