September 11, 2025 | Amy Luettgen

Ken Kinlow: bring your whole self to the table

We're honoring bisexual visibility throughout September and beyond! Meet Ken Kinlow, who shares his journey as a bisexual Black man, husband, and father.

Ken Kinlow

"It's 2025. Can we get out of these boxes and just be who we are?”

Kendrick Kinlow is a business owner, entrepreneur, homeowner, father, person of faith, community activist, and an out and proud bisexual man.

Born in Milwaukee, Ken is a graduate of Brown Deer High School and ITT Tech in Greenfield, Wisconsin. As owner of Ken K Creative Agency, he is a graphic designer and brand specialist with over 14 years of experience. Ken is also a loving Father to his 4 children and sees his role as guiding them and supporting them as they grow and live productive, ethical lives. This is a purpose that Ken embraces with great enthusiasm, as he does with everything he puts his mind to.

Looking back, he sees himself as starting to have an inkling as to his bi identity around the age of 12. “I knew something was different. I can’t say I had an all-encompassing knowledge at that age, but there was something going on. I didn’t really know what bisexuality was, at that age, and that understanding came later.”

It was not until Ken was in his late teens that he started to really dig in and figure out what was going on with his identity. “ I knew I wasn’t gay because I liked girls. I knew I wasn’t straight because I was also attracted to guys.” At this point, Ken also didn’t have access to information, in the late 1990s or early 2000s, that would have led him to understand that there were more options than just straight or gay. There weren’t any role models he was aware of; he didn't know about bisexuality as an alternative to express his sexuality.

It was at this time, when he was 18 or so, that he shared more information about his identity with close friends and some close family members. He received mixed reactions. Some of his friends and cousins were very supportive, but others expressed concerns because of their Christian faith or because they thought Ken might just be confused about his identity. This mixed response left Ken to keep his bisexuality quieter as he looked for information and inspiration to express himself.

Ken Kinlow

Ken Kinlow

Ken Kinlow

It wasn’t until his 30s that Ken felt more comfortable sharing more information about his Bi identity. By that time, he had married and become a Father. He had been honest with his wife about his sexuality prior to their marriage and felt seen and supported at that time. It was important to Ken that if he was to marry that he was forthright about his past.

“She was totally cool. She said she knew something was different about me, even if she was not sure what that was. She said, "You love me and we are moving together with us.”

While Ken may not have been very loud during this time, he was proud and content with who he was. The following years were busy as he and his wife welcomed more children and he worked on creating his own business. It was not as though Ken’s identity was back-burnered, but his life was hectic. Work and family life were taking precedence.

Then his oldest child came out to them as non-binary. In addition, Ken’s kids were home-schooled, and the homeschooling community was going to PrideFest, annually . At this point, Ken felt more comfortable expressing his bisexuality. He would wear bi colors, and his oldest recognized the flag Ken was using and he did not deny who he was. Ken also saw Bi+ Pride Milwaukee float in the 2024 Pride Parade, he chuckled as he received a Bi Membership card on the spot and info about the organization, and realized there was a community waiting for him when he felt more confident in being seen as a bi man.

At this time, his photos from PrideFest were posted on social media. While Ken was still affected by remnants of his conservative Christian upbringing, it was also time for him to unapologetically inhabit his identity. Once his bisexuality was more clear on social media sites, the calls started coming in. Questions such as, are you sure you want people in your business started popping up.

Ken reflects, “I’m going to Pride. I’m putting on my colors. I’m taking the kids. Some people were losing their minds [about his public coming out]. But, I’m like, it’s not really for other people. It’s who I am.”

While there was still some negative feedback, such as pastors who were not accepting, there were also relatives who were saying, good for you. It was a mixed bag, but more positive than negative.

Ken feels that his openness about his identity has been helpful for his family, in many ways, as he has confidently expressed who he is and encourages his kids to do the same. Ken admits that, as a parent, he was not very knowledgeable about his child’s non-binary identity, and as a family, they sought the assistance of a competent therapist to help them navigate new territory. Ken knows that part of his job as a cad is to be there for his kids and to support them on their own individual paths. As a young person, guidance and help navigating an LGBTQ identity simply did not exist.

Eventually, Ken found the ‘houses’ that exist in Milwaukee. These are chosen families who support people of all ages as they figure out who they are and are like de facto families for those who don’t feel acknowledged or accepted in their biological families.

While Ken says these houses were very helpful and provided access to resources which he needed, they also were primarily for gay people, and since Ken was attracted to both girls and guys,he didn’t always feel the houses were the spaces for him. That said, Ken wanted to emphasize as a young person who was not straight, the houses did provide a safe refuge, in many ways.

“It was like I still wasn’t home. It was inviting. It just wasn’t like welcome home because we were not all on the same page.”

Planned Parenthood was also a good resource for Ken because the church congregation wasn’t. As a young person, from a very involved Christian family, Ken was active in the church but did not feel it was a place where he was accepted.

Ken is glad to have found Bi+ Pride Milwaukee, even if he has not been able to participate in all of the organization's activities at this point. However, during the Pride Parade in June 2025, Ken hopped up on the float, handing out flags and waving to the crowd. He didn’t tell his kids he was going to participate, and their response to seeing their cad on the float was heartwarming.

“I had walked away for a moment, saying I would be right back, and the next thing they know, they see me on the Biplane float. My oldest was just falling out laughing to see me, and I am thankful pictures were taken so I could relive that moment. He thought I was the coolest parent, and that meant a lot.”

Ken has also taken advantage of online resources by participating in a podcast for Bi+ Black men. He has met men from all around the globe and has found an accepting environment where he can share how things are going. It can be as simple as ‘Hey, how are you doing today?’

“These are just normal humans, just like I am, where we can share information about articles or just about our day. They are people I can reach out and talk to.” Ken also credits Bi+ Pride Milwaukee as being a real, tangible place where he can make friends in the Bi+ community.

Ken finds that being more intentional and looking for people and resources where he can feel at home and be himself has truly enriched his life.

However, there are definitely some myths about bisexuality that have negatively impacted Ken on his journey. Ken indicates that hearing people say bi+ folks are ‘confused’ is extremely annoying to him.

“I feel like I get it [negativity] from both ends of the spectrum, both straight and gay. I hear, Are you queer? Are you straight? I don’t feel I have to prove anything to anyone. My being bi is not a phase. Are there a certain number of years I have to be out as bi for others to accept who I am? It shouldn’t be like that.”

Ken also thinks that too many people think bi folks cannot be monogamous. While Ken and his wife are divorcing, he has been with her and faithful for over 11 years. While Ken says that as a bi man he could have options to his attractions, it doesn’t mean he will be a cheater or unfaithful. As a bi man, Ken does not necessarily know what the future holds for relationships, but he does know his behavior will be guided by his morality and ethics. He says that while polyamory is an option, he rejects the idea that a Bi person cannot truly be bisexual and committed to one person. Ken has already lived that truth.

Ken states he is just open to the vibe that a person has. He loves that many celebrities and artists are coming out as Bi or Pan. Janelle Monet is one he credits with making music and being open about their sexuality.

“Basically, they’re saying it is 2025. Can we get out of these boxes and just be who we are?”

“I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know everything about the queer community. I still have a lot to learn.”

An example he shares is learning how to navigate his oldest child’s gender journey. He and his wife have enlisted the help of a therapist to guide them as they try to be the best parents they can be.

There are still hurdles ahead as Ken continues his path. His family are socially conservative Christians, and Ken has always stood out as a person who embraces his unique identity. Whether it was growing out dreads, cornrows, or braids, or being a fashion leader, Ken has always marched to the beat of his own drum. This has not always made things easy with his family.

When asked what brings him joy about his bisexuality, Ken is quick to say it is the options. He can see beauty in all people. He shares an anecdote where he had an impromptu date with a guy who happened to bring along a female friend. Ken was momentarily distracted by the woman’s beauty and had to remind himself he was there for a date with the guy. He chuckles as he had to quickly remind himself who his date was. When asked where the Queer community will be in 10-20 years, Ken feels optimistic. He sees leaders stepping forward who will protect and uplift the LGBTQ+ community.

“I see people making it and reaching back and pulling people forward. They will help open doors for us to walk through.”

There have been moments of anxiety as Ken has been louder about his Bi pride but overall, he feels a freedom being his authentic self. No matter what his future holds, he knows he will be bringing his whole self to that future and not shrink to be anything other than who he is. There are more steps along the path, but Ken advises seeking out your community, the place that feels like home. Not everyone will understand, but the right people will be there for you.

Ken Kinlow