September 18, 2025 | Amy Luettgen

Zach Noland: setting the record not-so-straight

Meet Zach Noland, who explodes myths and misconceptions about the "right" way to be bisexual.

Zach Noland

"Having a preference for one gender or another does not make you any less bisexual.”

Zach Noland is a Gen Z bisexual man. Born at the tail end of the last century, he is a fairly recent transplant to the Milwaukee metro area. Zach remembers a pleasant upbringing in Johnson County, Kansas - a small blue dot in a large red state. He attended college at Purdue University in Indiana and received a Bachelor’s degree in Robotics. Zach’s wife’s work ultimately brought him to Milwaukee.

Zach discussed his journey of self-identity, revealing that he started to recognize his identity during early puberty. However, he only thought of himself as a straight ally. He wanted to support the queer community but did not see himself as a member, at least not at that time.

Then, about three years ago, in 2022, Zach was scrolling through the social media platform called Twitter. It happened to be Bi Visibility Day. He saw some posts that resonated with him and had a moment of insight. He was not a straight ally but, in fact, a bisexual man. This was when he fully came out and acknowledged his identity to himself.

It was not a moment of concern or questioning; it was a revelation of his own reality.

Zach Noland

Zach Noland

He came out to his friends quickly, discovering that many shared similar experiences.

“I’ve always had a fairly progressive group of friends. I’ve always been a pretty progressive person. And, it was actually how I found out that a lot of my friends were bi, as well.”

While coming out to his friend group was a fairly simple affair, it took him a while to broach the subject with his parents. He had some concerns that coming out to them as bisexual might change the way they saw him. While Zach eventually came out to his parents, it was a low-key affair, and they accepted him without much further conversation on the subject.

“I was just having a conversation with my Mom about the LGBTQ community. She said I shouldn’t talk about communities as an authority. My response was, well, actually.”

Zach just finds that his parents accept him for who he is, but he does find that it is not something they choose to engage with very much. A short stint in Chicago did not find Zach connecting with an in-person bi or LGBTQ organization. However, he did engage with a robust online queer community.

This was the case until he moved to Milwaukee. Zach attended PrideFest and discovered the Bi+ Pride Milwaukee table in the Health and Wellness area. He found it a bit daunting to be there himself, but found a warm welcome from the Bi Pride volunteers. Zach then connected with the Bi+ Pride Milwaukee Discord channel and found affirmation and connection there.

Bi+ Pride Milwaukee gave Zach an immediate sense of belonging. Zach feels very strongly that the community is diverse, and he is focused on making sure everyone feels that they are important members and welcomed for who they are and how they present themselves.

While Zach is very aware that the bi+ community embraces people of varying and varied gender identities, he feels the media doesn't always get it right about the bi+ community. He feels that a bisexual character is often seen as “rapidly bouncing between love interests of varying genders.”

Zach, as a cis man, sees this as restrictive and unrealistic due to the diversity held within the bi+ community and adds that this is how writers often have bisexuals “performing their bisexuality” to the audience.

Zach also takes issue with being bi means you have equal attractions to all genders.

“It is perfectly okay to be a bi person and to have preferences. Having a preference for one gender or another does not make you any less bi.”

In Zach’s view, just like straight or gay people, bisexuals are allowed to have any kind of preference, whether for men without beards or redheads. Zach sees one of the biggest myths that needs busting is that of the bisexual slut. While he does not see it affecting him as much as it does bi women, Zach still considers it a very damaging stereotype, and it can make bisexual people feel pressured into letting people transgress their boundaries.

One of the joys Zach experiences as a bisexual man is being an authority on whether a person and/or a character in media is hot.

“Let me set the record straight because the bisexual is talking and, yeah, that person is hot.”

This is a source of amusement for Zach and his friends. Zach will joke with friends that his bisexuality makes him immune to homophobia,as a bisexual man, comfortable in his non-straightness.

Zach feels that some of the bite of homophobia has been blunted by being an out and proud bisexual.

“Maybe this is just a me thing, but someone thinking I’m gay doesn’t bother me at all. I think it is often the straight male experience to be deathly afraid of being perceived as gay, and that is not something that frightens me.”

Zach also reflects on so many more people coming out as bisexual than he remembers when he was young.

“I really think that most people are some level of queer. While there will always be people who are 100% straight and 100% gay, I think that there are some people who just haven’t figured it out yet.”

As far as advice to younger people, Zach says just be yourself.

“I don’t think it is necessary to adopt any certain kind of aesthetic.”

From multiple piercings to pocket protectors, Zach just encourages everyone to live and present in a way that feels comfortable to them. There is no right way to be bi, just as there is no right way to be straight or gay.

Finally, Zach encourages people to give themselves the space to explore their identity.

“In my own personal journey, I had to give myself space to consider [my attraction] because I would look at a guy and think I was attracted because he was pretty in a feminine way, but I had to acknowledge that’s a guy. Then I was open to more possibilities.”

Zach would register the man as attractive but rationalize that it was simply due to the man having more traditionally feminine attributes. After admitting his own diversity of attraction, he was able to inhabit the space to consider what he finds attractive and surprised himself by how broad that attraction really is.

When it comes to the future of the LGBTQ community, Zach is optimistic. He feels as though the community has dealt with difficult times in the past and that these times will pass, too. He does think, as a new adult, that there are many responsibilities that he is getting used to, but that it is still important to be aware of how politics can impact the Queer community. Zach would like to see a united LGBTQ community working on issues that impact everyone.

Although it took him a while and some introspection, he now sees how he can be attracted to a lot of different kinds of people. He also would like to encourage people in his age demographic to get out more and meet more people to broaden their worldview.

“People just have a knee-jerk reaction to these demographic shifts on a cultural level. If you knew more queer people, it [the cultural shifts] might not bother you so much.”

Zach Noland